After what happened, I had to sign up to this website to warn you all.
Before I start telling the whole story, keep in mind that I am a 25 years-old French guy, rather burly with a 5-day beard. I have never been bothered before; usually if you want to steal, fight or look for troubles with someone, you do not pick me as your opponent. So that could happen to ANYONE.
That being said, here is my story.
2 days ago, I was visiting Chiang Mai beautiful temples on my own. At Wat Phan Tao, a young (26) monk approached me "where are you from?". Really pleased to get a chance to discuss with a monk, I talked with him for 5 minutes. Then he asked "I can show you my monk room if you want"; I felt like what a lucky guy I am! And accepted the invitation from the kind and very spiritual buddhist monk.
So, we arrived in his room after meeting some other monks. He offered me a glass of orange juice and locked the door. I asked a dozen questions about buddhism and his life as a monk but he did not seem very interested by them. Except one: "how come do you speak English that well?" -"A lot of monks study English on their spare time" - "oh, that's interesting" - "yes. In fact, I've also learnt how to do traditionnal thai massage. Can I show you my skills?" (Note that these are not his exact words, his English was ok but not that good). I answered "Umm, Ive just had one (true), but thanks" - "please,I insist", he replied. I couldn't say no to that buddhist ambassador...
He started by my hand, then went down to my chest, belly and...what?! He grasped my sex. First, I believed that it was not on purpose so I moved a bit to show him that he wrongly touched something there. But he kept touching it, almost looking for the best way to hold it all.
So I was "Wo, dude, what are you doing?" And after trying to insist touching my sex, he said this sentence that I will always remember "Apologies for the penis, you very good looking"... Man !
I gently said that I had to go and managed to leave. He was repeating "you good looking, please give me email or fabook", crazy.
I left the temple, shocked. Went to the Central mall to try to think to something else. That was really heavy on me, and I had noone to tell.
I went back to my hostel, met new guys from there and started like: "Guys, today I had the creepiest experience of my whole life"; a German guy replied "No, I had"; I was like "I'm sure mine is worse"; he answered that his was rather extreme...
Turned out that we had the damn exact same story. We went to the same temple, met the same perv monk, followed him in the samd f***ing room, and so on. Crazy !
So guys, I wanted to warn you. This monk takes advantage of his religious status to make you trust him. I truly hope that he did not and will not find someone younger or more fragile who would not dare stopping him like the German guy and me did.
I won't describe him in here, I don't want you guys trying to find the perv monk among Chiang Mai temples. You just need not to overtrust a pushy monk, do not be extra super suspicious any time a monk is friendly.
Hooe that my post could prevent some potential situations.
#1 B0n0m has been a member since 31/3/2013. Posts: 4
Certainly not appropriate behavior, even if the role of a monk - even how long one is a monk - is not exactly what we in the west consider it. If this man is a serial offender I'd consider myself ethically obliged to return to the temple and try to find his superior.
Go back to the temple and report him to the abbot. First of all, no one except other monks is allowed in the Kuti (his room). Big no-no. Secondly, if he tried this on you, think what he is doing to novice monks if he gets the chance. He needs to be disrobed. This guy is like a perv priest in the Catholic Church. It's insidious and the Abbot might not know and should know. Even if he doesn't take your word at face value, it should prod him into asking about delicately and keeping his eyes open.
#3 MADMAC has been a member since 6/6/2009. Posts: 6,957
Wow, I've had my "sex" grabbed by random weird guys in Thailand (once on the street and once in a club) but never a monk. I agree fully with casey and Mac. Go back to the temple and report it the abbot. If you don't feel comfortable with that, report it to the police. Great you want to protect the Travelfish community, but as Mac says, what about protecting novice monks and younger Thai laymen who are taught to respect and trust monks? The "monk" should be defrocked immediately -- it's a matter of protecting the temple's community!
Seems to me that the OP is just a little naive - after all, any adult inviting another into his private room should set off a few hundred signals!
#5 daawgon has been a member since 17/4/2007. Posts: 1,091
Yes what kind of guy gets a massage from a monk? The really story is he stayed there for 1 hour and enjoyed it
#6 LeonardCohen1 has been a member since 24/7/2012. Posts: 2,148
Thanks for your answers even if I was not expected any.
I am not in CM anymore, so I can't go back to the temple.
As for the two last messages, I don't think you realize how it feels to be abused like that, so please keep your inappropriate remarks for yourselves.
This was just a warning message; it took me a lot to post it; so please stop your "go back to the temple" and "this guy seems very naive". I did not post this experience to know what I should do - and even less to be judged by some random guys who don't know ****.
#7 B0n0m has been a member since 31/3/2013. Posts: 4
And Leonard Cohen, you are so funny; I wish I had the same sense of humor.
#8 B0n0m has been a member since 31/3/2013. Posts: 4
I'm with Caey here - the reason I think you should go back (if reasible) is because this guy is a mennace. If he did it to you, he'll do it again, perhaps with someone less capable of defending themselves.
#10 MADMAC has been a member since 6/6/2009. Posts: 6,957
I told some Thais that story and they thought it was funny as well. It seems odd that 2 people from the same guesthouse would have the same experience. I can't imagine tourists going for massages with priests behind closed doors.
In a couple of months time you'll look back and laugh about it.
#11 LeonardCohen1 has been a member since 24/7/2012. Posts: 2,148
I admit there are some elements here that do seem bizarre. But assuming it's all true at face value, my advice would stand.
#12 MADMAC has been a member since 6/6/2009. Posts: 6,957
A westerner might not realize how casual the attitudes in Thailand are concerning sex - it's almost just another hobby here. After all, you were not raped!
#13 daawgon has been a member since 17/4/2007. Posts: 1,091
Casey, no offense. ItÂ´s just that when I read you guys, I see no support, just things I need to do or should have done.
Daawgon, if it happened to someone else, who knows.
And this guy is a monk, I was not expecting that. Anyway, some tell me that it is such a big deal that I must go back to the temple and other just awkwardly say "you were not raped". Be human, guys.
Madmac, every single fact is true. I have no motivation to lie about anything.
Leonard Cohen, please shut up. You're helping noone here, really.
#14 B0n0m has been a member since 31/3/2013. Posts: 4
I'm sorry you had an unpleasant experience.
That kind of harassment is s%!t, and it makes you feel like s%!t. There's no doubt about that, especially as it's the first time you've experienced it, as that makes it all the more shocking.
The best you can probably do for yourself at the moment is try and forget it.
The first time I was grabbed inappropriately, I was quite young, and I cried for hours (yes, I'm female). The next time it happened to me, I hit the a$$h*le as hard as I could with my bag (which was incredibly heavy at the time, so it must of hurt) and screamed blue murder at him, and he ran away. What I mean to say is, however shocking and upsetting it is at first, it does get better.
The posters above didn't mean anything unkind (the "you weren't raped" comment was presumably a reference to the attitudes to sexual harassment you find in a lot of places, rather than the poster trying to dismiss your feelings.)
Give yourself a mental hug,
Sorry to hear of your woes but the "grasped my sex" line had me in tears
#16 9preciousGems has been a member since 13/1/2011. Posts: 82