Thailand forum

What type of advice do you need? :) Do not to visit toilets till end of your trip? :)

Ok this gets the award for the most ridiculous post on Travelfish!

Squat toilets rock! westerners have a good deal to learn from our Asian cousins when it comes to toilets, for many reasons I will not go into detail about...

I don't agree....How can I read the paper if the toilet is on the floor? Plus I do now know how to make the shit sink, it just sticks to the side.

I have a mobile, could someone call me to talk me through it?????

Geez, talk about funny ... and original.

Excellent!!!!

I still don't know if you're serious or not. But I'll pretend you are: I personally don't use the "ass sprayer" as an ass sprayer but I use it to flush. Why would you piss in the bucket? Instead of in the toilet?

After you use the ass-sprayer, do you then dry off with toilet paper?

The alternative is a day long case of swamp ass as the humidity never allows me to fully dry.

PLEASE ADVISE!

The toilets are fine - I think you should realise it is you that has the problem, OP

An amusing post.Nothing wrong with Thai conveniencies.I always carry some toilet paper in my wallet as you never know when it may be required.Has anyone ever been to the restaurant just outside Mae Sot[can't remember the name]that would have to have the cleanest toilets I've ever seen in Thailand?

Ass sprayer? How vulgar! Its called a bum gun by everyone I know.

So after the bum gun do u just walk around with a wet ass? Or use toilet paper that will break up?

When you use a squat toilet, do you face the door or the wall?

Dont get me wrong, the bum gun is nice. Lets face it, our system is flawed. Even when you wipe with TP, you don't get 100%. If you don't get enough fiber especially, you know a lot of it is left behind causing skids, irritation, odor, itching, etc. I love the ass sprayer. Usually I require like 10 wipes or more, this really makes my dump easier. I just don't know how to use it without walking around in wet skiddy drawers.

Have to agree with CunningMcFar. Using squat toilets was a whole new experience and one of the more interesting parts of my trip. And as to your question about whether it is OK to piss in the bucket, no it is not. That is not what it is put there for and other people will use it after you.
To make the shit sink, aim at the side of it that is closest to the tolet and use a round arm action. This should take only 3 scoops of water, maybe 2 as you get better.
And do not use toilet paper. If you throw it down the toilet it will clog it up. If you put it in a waste basket it will stink up the place. The only time you should use it(if you must) is for a quick dry after you have cleaned with the spray.

I know about parcopresis and don't have that. I could shit in the center of a crowded mall while people watched and not have a problem...so long as there was a regular toilet that I could use.

Just not knowing which way to face on the squatter is the problem, along with a few minor ones like not knowing where to put my beer and ashtray while I do my business.

I tried to spray off then use the TP to dry and it just broke up everywhere. Sigh...

mattocmd, sorry, but you piss in the bucket? What kind of reprobate are you? I would have though it was obvious that the bucket was for filling up your water bottle.

The worst squat toilet I ever saw was in India, on a train. The hole had been blocked, and, as the floor became awash with turds and slosh, people had placed bricks on the floor so you could walk out and squat atop this swaying, sloshing mass of crap. I was gobsmacked that people were still using it. The stench was absolutely unfathomable.

Surely the next step in this discussion is pictures...

Wash your arse with the bum gun and dry with tissue - DON"T put tissues in the drain as they will fuck up the drains or septic tank.

If you wash your arse with the gun then you won't leave smelly tissues in the bins!

That is the place Khwai.Well worth the visit and I did'nt think it was all that expensive.Even got photos of the toilets.

i think that davidjones and thaiyaikit are the same person. most of their other posts are about that swimming pool in chiang mai, which is a well-known hang out for cross-dressing tourists. they should both be banned for violation of the travelfish terms of use. well, for that and for attempting to practice internet medicine without a license.

davidjones did give solid recommendations about visiting chiang mai however, particularly wat umong. not so ironically, the public toilets there are also thai style.

Mattocmd - has someone touched nerve?

Thanks for the medical advice David! Where did you go to school? Or are you just so well informed because of personal experience?

As matto 1st posted in 2007, I'm thinking he'd be really constipated by now. Maybe he 'held off' till he found western.

Anyway, matto, in case it's an ongoing 'problem', go buy a pack of suppositories. You won't be worrying about what sort of dunny then!!!

My 'problem' is whether to take the pants & undies off in case...

Mmmm!! never sure on that.

Cheers

Inadvertantly, matto may be doing himself an injustice.

I was researching the topic 'diverticular disease' (as you do), when on wiki appears the following comment...

"Dr. Denis Burkitt(1911-1993), who was the main proponent of the fiber theory, also believed that the use of the unnatural sitting posture for defecation is a major contributing factor in diverticulosis."

It appears the discussion ought be between 'squat' and 'unnatural sitting position' - not 'western'!

Still can't decide about the trousers-n-undies...

Mmmmm!!!!

So if you got caught short without access to a toilet you'd assume a 90 degree angle to take a dump Madmac?

Squat toilets rock. They are in harmony with human anatomy, keep old people's knees from seizing up, great thigh exercise. They are more hygienic as you never have to sit on a toilet seat that some man with bad aim or a prostate problem might have pissed on. Washing is cleaner than wiping and not using toilet paper helps save the world's forests and reduce global pollution.

:-)

"So if you got caught short without access to a toilet you'd assume a 90 degree angle to take a dump Madmac?"

You mean like when I was doing long range patrols in the Ogaden? Yeah, then you're stuck squating. But your body does not like it.

"Squat toilets rock."

Too each his own.

"They are in harmony with human anatomy, keep old people's knees from seizing up, great thigh exercise."

My Thai mother in law would be inclined to disagree with you. I just had to replace her squater because nature is giving her knees a hard time.

"They are more hygienic as you never have to sit on a toilet seat that some man with bad aim or a prostate problem might have pissed on."

This is a joke right? Where you have squaters, you have filth. It's axiomatic.

"Washing is cleaner than wiping and not using toilet paper helps save the world's forests and reduce global pollution."

Here I agree. I prefer washing and minizing on the use of paper. But you can have a sprayer and a sit toilet - I do in my own home.

I got slagged off on TT the other day for suggesting that it is a social faux pas to put stained brown toilet paper in the bin because some poor sod has to empty the bins. I never see sh*tty toilet paper in bins in toilets only used by Asian people, just in places used by western tourists.

Asians, if they use TP, seem to use it to dry after washing.

Thoughts please.

I spend about 6 months a year in SE Asia. And I do travel off the beaten track quite a bit.

I think you live in Issan? What are the bar toilets like round where you live? Just curious because when I worked at Mahidol and Mahasarakham universities I didn't see any, nor have I ever seen sh*tty toilet paper in the bins in people's houses anywhere in SE Asia.

I could be mistaken but I got the impression it just wasn't done.

"We put the toilet paper down the toilet in my home and it doesnt' clog anything."

So why all the notices in Thai toilets (in English) telling people not to put toilet paper into them? I remember a post on TT about a year ago by someone complaining about backpackers constantly blocking the loos of his place with toilet paper.

PS Agree that Africa is worse...NOTHING is as bad as a rural Ethiopian toilet!

Heehee I spent a year there too...when I was much younger than I am now, mind you. ;-)

You must be a young slip of a thing Madmac! I was there in 1973/74, a wide eyed gap year volunteer (I was too young to get into uni so I had to pass the time somehow). Saw what famine and cholera really smelt like. Then Haile Selassie got overthrown and all hell broke out with people getting bits of anatomy cut off outside my front door and bullets coming through the windows regularly. Life changing year out but I do remember some really awful toilets. Squelching through godknowswhat in the dark in flipflops to a hole in the ground. And water was so scarce that you had to buy a bottle of whisky to get a bottle of water ...so we cleaned our feet with whisky.

I know the feeling Madmac. Actually on my last trip I got directed down a muddy track to a river when I asked if I could use the restroom. (Indonesia not Thailand)

Somtam ... PMs. Please can you roll out of your hammock in the sun and press whatever button is needed. This guy obviously knows Ethiopia and I've been toying with the idea of going back for years but it's off topic on this forum!

There isn't one. You have to harass the boss mercilessly to get anything done around here. ;-)

No PM function yet, so you'll have to continue your dunny-banter in public I'm afraid -- which is fine by me as it is quite amusing.

For me it's a showdown between Istanbul's long distance bus station and a carriage toilet on a train in India.

The former looked like they taken sandblasting equipment into the room, but filled the machine with something other than sand -- there was crap everywhere -- including on the roof.

The India one was a sqaut loo, but the hole was blocked. Despite this, people kept using it (there were a trail of bricks to stand on). The end result was around three inches of "matter" gently sloshing with the motion of the train. I've never, ever, seen anything like it.

Other stories? do share.

To all

I still can't decide about the trousers-n-undies problem...

Do I remove in case I shoot/squirt the wrong way, or do I leave on and learn the 'posture'?

Still haven't seen any comments...

Still waiting for advice.


There's no cheers, here.

Agony uncle in waiting.

Well I just get nekkid....easier to balance so you don't have to touch the walls, and no risk embarrassing damp marks (or worse) on clothes. There's usually a hook or some means of hanging up stuff while you do the business.

Gets easier with practice Bruce. ;-)

If I have the choice between a western style toilet and a squat toilet at a bus stop of something, I usually chose the latter...seriously!

That's ma'am, not man if you don't mind madmac! :>}

And as lady I think a "no bare skin contact" policy is infinitely preferable when it comes to public toilets in Asia.

I must tell you all about the only time I ever used a squat toilet. I was in Tokyo, and we'd gone to eat at some restaurant a good 20 minutes or so, via the subway, from our hostel. It was one of those places where you have a grill in front of you and they bring out all the ingredients for a big omelet/pancake thing.

It was rather greasy, and as we headed back to the train, I realized I desperately needed to use the toilet. The thing is, it was the very last train. So, I ran to the restroom, swung the stall door open, only to find a...fucking squat toilet. Eyes wide with fear, I tried the next stall, only to find the same.

So, I went for it, as quickly as I could, completely convinced I was going to fall in or suffer some other horrible atrocity.

Once finished, I washed up and ran back to the platform. All my friends were standing their yelling "Come on!" and such. I got onto the platform just as the train doors opened, and through them just before they closed. It was truly a cinematic experience.

And yes, I created this account just to tell you all this little story.

okonomiaki! I love the Kansai version of this "all in" meal

Admittedly, it was pretty tasty. I'd skip the first one next time (though I couldn't possibly tell you which variety it was, which makes the point moot), as it was the greasiest. Or, maybe, I could just take an immodium beforehand, rather than afterward.

Mmmmm!!!

As for hands on walls.....

My 'worst' experience was in Xi'an. I had been to Banpo, and was visiting the Botanical Gardens when an extremely powerful message told me 'nature calling'.

From the map I could see the nearest loo was adjacent to the Fragrant Pond...

I didn't need to look, I could smell it and it aint what I'd call 'fragrant'.

In I rushed, only to find a large concrete rectangular floor area with a long trench from one end to the other. No doors, no walls, no privacy. And, in the middle of the room was a women holding a hose. She was dressed in a tattered typically Chinese) quasi uniform.

Is this what is meant by a squat? I thought, never having before encountered a 'formal' squat toilet.

I recoiled at the thought of having to squat over a concrete trench: on full view to all - but on this occasion 'ALL' happened to ALSO be the officious hose holding female.

Paranoia emerged Oh No, They CAN'T be serious!![/i, but then there was the rampaging bowel... Make up your mind, you're going to s**t yourself any second!!

With an extreme bowel pressure forcing the decision, I quickly tried to pull my long pants off, only to trip on one leg. Sh*t I exclaimed, and in that moment I knew that I had to take aim as best I could.

With pants still trailing one leg and draped across the damp concrete floor, I aimed ....Aaah, ... R-E-L-I-E-F.

But, then, having yet to even think about which pocket I had the toilet paper, the officious women made her move. Upstream she positioned herself, and with the hose now turned on as a huge torrent she blasted[/i what by now may have looked like shot graffiti on HER concrete floor.

My pants!!!! THEY"LL GET WET, I exclaimed. But, my words of English fell on deaf ears!!!

What a wet, sad sight departed that concrete chamber!

My first ever experience with a squat! And, the term Fragrant Pond will forever be remembered for different reasons.

.

This thread should be a sticky. Brilliant stuff, bet there's nothing else like it on the whole of the internet.

"But do you bring toilet paper or use the ass spray gun?"
I never bother bringing toilet paper and I mostly used scoops this last trip as most of the places I stayed had no running water.

I do prefer a nice bum spritzer when I can get one though, far superior cleansing action than bits of paper.

PS. Madmac, I did a few side trips to Ethiopian countryside and its loos when I could, but I lived in a place called Nazareth not the Ogaden. http://kingdomvisioninternational.blogspot.com/2007/11/nazareth-ethiopia.html
Seems to have grown into quite a big town now.

Bruce, you've forever changed the meaning of fragrant pond in my mind.

Thanks

Bruce - it was a very passionate story....I laughed and I cried...

I love how "ass sprayer" became such an acceptable term!

My only advice is just to get your daily allowance of fiber to keep things easy and clean!

DLeuk - love the story!!!

Found this amusing article: Ten Toilets You’ll Meet on Your Travels (and how to cope with them)

http://www.bootsnall.com/articles/09-02/ten-toilets-youll-meet-your-travels-and-how-cope-them.html

You might be drenched in water if you don't aim the bum gun right but don't worry, it's a hot country.

Think of the damp clothes as a personal A/C. :-)

Brucemoon, nope, no China for me. So you're saying I do the hosing myself in Thailand - cool, I can handle that, but not a stranger giving my ass a clean.

Not all toilets are created equal. This simple yet integral revelation should be the first thing anyone tells you before travelling to Asia. As strange as it no doubt sounds, I have been pondering the peccadillos of oriental lavatories for years and consider myself something of a rogue expert on the matter, which I realise is a somewhat dubious calling.

This fascination with freakish and fanciful chamber pots, was prompted by my first fateful encounter with the wondrously high-tech commodes of Japan, which can be frightfully complicated for the uninitiated, almost requiring a drivers license to operate whilst sober, let alone under any form of alcoholic influence.

Curiosity can be a dangerous thing when tampering with devices in foreign countries, my advice, don’t push the button unless you know what its for, otherwise you may find yourself having to explain exactly why the front of your shirt or even worse, your face is drenched in toilet water and I do not mean eau d’ toilet. High power projectile hoses are best left to the experts.

The Japs do seem to be innately fond of bottom-washing paraphernalia and even have a portable version coined the ‘washlet’ for all those occasions when a good rear-end cleansing is suddenly called for. I am still wondering when that might be but it makes a great party trick.

Since conquering the mighty Japanese throne, the many wierd, wacky and downright nasty versions found throughout the region have captured my imagination and at times left me dazed and confused as to how to proceed when no familiar tools were to be found.

Every country has their own unique take on ablution facilities so lets take a look at some of the common equipment that can be found throughout the Pan-Asian region.

Lets begin with the most popular variety, the squat hole. Seemingly healthy for the motions but not so good for untrained knees and thigh muscles, these dainty floor-bound orifices are a challenge for many a traveller. Most often found in public toilets, train stations, cheaper restaurants and guest houses, the squat holes pose a precarious problem for the not so agile among us, as locked knees can sometimes give way in the struggle to maintain balance.

Another not so hidden hazard is the ever present puddles of water and other questionable liquids awash on either side of the said potty; carefree flip flops, sandals and open toe shoes leave fully anointed in the toils of the previous occupants labour. Hiking boots are advised.

Some squatters are even raised on a pedestal, a kind of royal dais in honour of this most sacred receptacle. These wily water closets present yet another obstacle to unwitting adventurers, who can very literally fall from grace after slipping off the sodden stage. Patrons used to using this variety of loo can get very confused when faced with a western toilet arrangement, evidence of this can be seen in the form of dirty footprints adorning the toilet seat, I’m impressed by that kind of agility.

Along with the toilets themselves come a plethora of instruments to assist with the whole affair, most of us are familiar with toilet paper and many will have encountered the high power water hose that could blast the craters of the moon before you can achieve a good aim in the rear direction. The real mystery for plucky explorers is the requisite barrels of water accompanied by a smaller water scooper found in so many Asian nations.

Now over the years I have come to understand what basic ablutionary purpose these serve (there is a reason for the lack of paper in these places) but some others aren’t so privileged to get in on this before making some fatal mistake. A certain close acquaintance of mine was delighted to find this small vessel in the bathroom, believing it to be a shaving aid and was preparing to use to this end before I tactfully explained its purpose as a hand held bidet. Now that’s what I call a close shave!

As is the trend in many countries, there is a small charge for using the facilities under the guise of maintenance and cleaning, I prefer to call it the ‘pee fee’. One would presume that this indicates some kind of care for actually keeping the toilets clean, or at least vaguely useable. Alas this is not often the case and after dredging the contents of wallet and pockets for suitable change, inevitably errant when the urge is most dire, the best you can hope for is toilets that flush and doors that close and at least some kind of rubbish bin or water source. This is never a given.

In certain parts of Nepal and I have heard, India it comes down to hanging your behind over the edge of a precipice, especially on long bus journeys along treacherous and sparsely inhabited roads. I don’t know the statistics, but I am sure more than one unlucky backpacker has followed the call of nature all the way over the edge of the cliff, never to be seen again. Thankfully I managed to avoid this untimely fate by the administration of Imodium and practiced dehydration, although I certainly had brushes with some terrifying and downright degusting outhouses in the remote trekking areas. Some experiences just make you stronger.

Of course there is no avoiding these situations unless you are cosseted in five star resorts the entire time, and let’s face it the trials and tribulations of the road make much better stories! So brace yourself, go out into the world armed with wet tissues and waterless antiseptic soap and let your own journey of toilet discovery begin.

Haha, yes think I used a bit of wayward creative license with 'peccadillo' but in a strange way I think it is still appropriate.

Sounds like you have had many adventures when it comes to the topic Brucemoon, love your pee fee story - the lengths we have to go to, to 'go' in comfort!

Concerning the water vs paper issue, one guy (westerner but lived in Cambodia for some years) put it this way:

"If you got **** in your hair - what are you going to do? Wipe it with paper or wash it with water?"

If you're talking facial hair... I do not even want to know...
It was his reply to my concerns about "cleanliness" when using water instead of paper. Kind of convinced me.

THis has got to make Travelfish the most "anal" travel site on the net!

Wow, most of this is from years ago but I'm heading there Sept 21, 2011 and this page just freaked me out! I didn't even think about how I was going to crap when I got there, now I guess I've got a heads up and I can prepare...

I'm still not sure how the bucket and bum gun are supposed to work and I'm really hoping I guess right on how exactly to squat on this mofo - face door? face wall? bring bran muffins regardless. Thanks everybody! Wish me luck