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The Year That Was

Posted by tezza on 31/12/2018 at 05:53


JANUARY1 – KO PHANGAN: newlyarrived ragers declareHad Rin New Year Party “SO LAST YEAR”.
FEBRAURY8 - PAI: Northern tree cobra dies of alcoholic poisoning after bitingScot tourist. Thai animal rights activists campaign for ban on Scotvisitors.
MARCH30- KO NGAI: New mark in conspicuous non-consumption set byThai-Chinese middle class family of 4 who order 18 plates of food ata popular dinner site, leave 11 untouched - and consume an average 5%of the others.
APRIL 12 – SINGAPORE: Britexpat banker reeling at the loss of personal assistant (ourshylock didn’t quitemake target for renewed accounts because of BREXIT UNEASE) sets an LPTHORNTREE record in self-indulgent requests by asking readers tomicro-plan his 4 week 11 location LOS visit including accommodationoptions and pricing, transport times, safety issues, party and otherentertainment tips, child minding services, excursion reviews,restaurant recommendations, shopping advice, ATM locations, bestbars. Not to mention massage spas with soap machines.
Inanother record, this time of self-control, only 763 regulars tell himto use the search function.
MAY6 – KO LANTA: Manchester City fans burn down grandstand when theirside is beaten in a friendly with a Ban Saladan scratch team. Alater appeal (the Thai ball boy came from Ban Kantiang: CHEATS!)reverses the result.
Cityfans burn down Saladan waterside fish restaurants in celebration.
JUNE22– PHUKET: multi-pickup wreck at entrance to Surin fresh foodmarket as wholesalers rush extra produce in response to Russiantourist “DA” to 800 baht ask for over-ripe, under-sized mango.
JULY1 – PHUKET: taxi cartel releases fourth official price rise listfor year.
AUGUST10 KO YAI NOI – no surprise at news 70% of luxury hillside villadevelopment has been pre-sold to Phuket taxi drivers. Nor thatremainder claimed by the Ao Nang longtail mafia.
SEPTEMBER29 – self-appointed LP THORNTREE fashion/culture policeself-destruct in 413 post sarong right tie/left tie argument.
OCT14 – A top Facebook tavel“INFLUENCER” suffering severe BRAIN OVERLOAD recommends HAD RINthe place to be night of OCTOBER 25
NOV22 – doctors prescribe BAKE BEAN TREATMENT for PHUKET AIRPORTTRANSPORT DUDES to remove anal fixation that every incoming touristhas never been in Thailand before.
DEC27 – in an attempt to appear pro-tourist, authorities arrest 14Bangkok katoeys for male fraud.

#1 tezza has been a member since 13/4/2006. Posts: 1,358

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